We made it in 7 complete pieces. After 15 or so hours of traveling, Edric, our five children and I found ourselves standing outside the San Francisco airport, enjoying the chilly air while waiting to be picked up by my sister, Candy. The kids should have been physically tired but adrenaline was pumping through their veins, their faces lit with wonderment as they fathomed the reality of being half-way around the world from home.

Contrary to expectation, our journey was a smashing success. Of course I am saying this relative to what I imagined would happen. My nightmarish vision of traveling with five children involved loud, extended periods of wailing from Catalina, a lot of requests for assisted trips to the lavatory, clogged sinuses accompanied by complaints about ear pressure, an asthma attack for Catalina, possible vomiting, and losing one of our kids to curious wanderings.

There was some vomit at the Hong Kong airport when Catalina had a bout of coughing, and Titus did spill apple juice on Edan and orange juice on Elijah during the flight to the U.S. (I had to launder Catalina’s jacket in the restroom.) Otherwise, we managed just fine.

I am thankful that Catalina is still breastfed. Everytime she fussed I offered to nurse her and she would comply. This made the 12 hour stretch from Hong Kong to San Francisco a lot easier. We didn’t need to give her cough syrup or an antihistamine to calm her down. (I have never had to do this with any of my kids yet. Whew. God is good.) She slept 70% of the time, too.

Edric and I also tried to keep it practical and efficient when it came to luggage. Even though we were allowed 14 suitcases and 7 carry-ons, we fit all our clothes and shoes into 5. As for hand-carry luggage, we took two — one for the kids with some toys, extra clothes, and activities in them, and another for Edric and I with our laptops and gadgets. I also brought a backpack/purse that doubled as a diaper bag.

Catalina was shuttled around in an easily collapsible, light-weight stroller which was allowed all the way up to the gate. Everytime we disembarked the stroller was brought back to us.

To keep track of all the bodies, Edric assigned a buddy-system. The pairs were Elijah and Tiana, and Edan and Titus.

We traveled Cathay Pacific and I was quite pleased with their service. They were proactive and concerned about our kids. It probably made a difference that we were the only family traveling with that many young children. Go homeschooling! When I was feeding Catalina, one of the attendants thoughtfully asked if I needed extra pillows to prop up my arm. Another one volunteered to take our photo. They also asked a lady who was sitting in between Edric and I to move elsewhere so our family could sit together.

There were other pluses. Cathay has yummy airplane food and that’s saying a lot because I never like airplane food. In fact most of the flights I have taken in my life involve me skipping the food parts. The other highlight was an uncrowded plane. For the kids, their favorite aspect was the touch screens in front of their seats. Those kept them preoccupied and entertained. Even Catalina was gleefully banging on one.

“This is the best plane ever!” They cried out with excitement.

Our first order of business when we arrived was to drive through In-N-Out Burger. Candy treated us to five animal style cheeseburgers which the kids and Edric feasted on at 9 PM. Not a good idea for overcoming jetlag! Those meat patties kept everyone up until about 2 AM. Catalina struggled until 4 AM which wiped me out the next day.

But so far, I am loving this vacation. It’s exactly what I was looking forward to this Christmas. Nothing touristy. A slice of suburbia without the stress of homeschooling. The kids finished two quarters worth of work with the exception of World History, so I am totally relaxed. We left the books at home, as well as our harried pace of life. Okay got to go…I have to put my infant to sleep but more to come on this “American Dream” Vacation.

Is it a challenge to inspire your kids to eat? Are you running out of ideas that are healthy and reasonably simple to prepare?

I was sent a copy of Yummy Mommy a week before we left for the US. Although I haven’t gotten a chance to try the recipes yet I am excited to when I get back to Manila. Even my second son, Edan, picked some of the ideas he would like me to cook or bake in the kitchen. It is such a great book for moms who want to offer kid-friendly meals to their children. I am sure all moms can relate to eating-related issues with their kids and a lot of recipe books ala sneaky chef style don’t always recommend ingredients that are locally available. This one does.

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Here is Anvil Publishing’s write up on their book…

Anvil Publishing releases Yummy Mommy by Tricel De Guzman, a full-time mother and dedicated homemaker, who collected favorite recipes of dishes of her daughter who is a picky eater. Aside from the delicious recipes, Tricel shares tips on food preparation and proper feeding Celebrity Mommy Cheska Garcia-Kramer tried cooking these yummy recipes for her picky eater Kendra and raved about it on Instagram! What’s more, all the dishes can be enjoyed by other family members.

Mommies can try mouthwatering dishes like, Spinach Rice with Tofu and Kiwi, Nice and Gooey Chicken Wings, Popcorn Shrimp with Orange Dip, Salmon Broccoli Rice Bake. Make kids enjoy merienda with Banana Fritters with Cream Cheese Sauce, Jam and Cheese Grilled Sandwich, Fruit Sticks with Milo Dip. For busy working moms, the No-bake desserts such as Banana Ice Cream Burrito, Blueberry Cheesecake in a Jar, Milk Flan with Honey Prune Sauce, and Mango-Ginger Parfait are perfect meal enders.

Yummy Mommy is now in the BESTSELLER list of National Book Store and Powerbooks nationwide.

The highlights…

The kids have to take care of themselves, especially when it comes to eating. If they don’t eat, they go hungry. Even little Catalina is learning to eat on her own. She makes a huge mess which I have to clean.

Laundry. I still have a huge load to do and sort through. It’s never ending. The washing machine and dryer seem to be running all the time to accommodate the clothes of my sister’s family and ours!

Sitting in car seats. (We usually stop using car seats in the Philippines after my kids are a few months old. The yayas are our car seats. I am not advocating this but when you have five kids, you need a bus if you use car seats, travel with househelp, and pack luggage.)

Catalina screamed for 45 minutes today because she couldn’t stand being strapped in hers. We broke out into song to entertain her which worked for a little while, until we figured out a better trick. Elijah now sits beside her so he can keep her entertained.

Park visits almost every afternoon. Edric and I take turns pushing the younger ones on the swings. The older boys run off to explore.

Simple joys. Like picking oranges and lemons outside then squeezing out the juice and covering the kitchen floor with sticky pulp. (I am just kidding about the latter, that is a complicated joy.)

Christmas tree farming. We did that today. The boys got to take turns using the saw. I took advantage of the beautiful surroundings and snapped random photos.

It was supposed to be closed but they let us in…

No traffic. Needs no explanation.

I blew it in the car, on the way to a Christmas dinner with friends. Edric didn’t remember a discussion and agreement we had and it irked me. So I threw my phone against the back of the driver’s seat, and it fell to the floor with a thud. Even though I didn’t get the drama I intended because the padded seat cushioned the phone, the gesture broadcasted my anger, coupled by a statement I made that actually included a bad word!

Edric asked me if I had gifts for a group of people we were going to meet with and I reminded him that we were skipping the gift-giving this Christmas because we were going to be out of the country. Then he questioned my logic since I prepared presents for his office and ANC colleagues. My defense was, “You told me to have gifts ready for these groups.” Then came his famous line, “I don’t remember.”

“How can you not remember? This is how the dialogue went…” And I attempted to give the context and the phrases we exchanged. According to him bits and pieces were coming back to him but he still wasn’t sure that we had the conversation.

Edric and I are aging. Of course. That goes without saying. But sometimes this means we don’t have the best memories. He forgets our conversations and I forget people’s names. In this instance he didn’t recall our discussion about Christmas gifts. It really shouldn’t have been a big deal but I mountained it into a serious issue because he was disappointed with me for not having Christmas presents ready to give to the group of friends we were having dinner with. I was very upset with him for claiming he had no recollection of our dialogue and then refusing to believe me.

I don’t say bad words! But under my breath I blurted, “This —— annoys me!”

As soon as the sentence escaped from my lips I felt the remorse. There it was in bold letters, capitalized and italicized, lingering in the air — the noxious evidence of my angry heart.

Edric was quiet. He didn’t fight with me which escalated the guilt I was feeling. My outburst was very wrong and childish. I had lost my temper.

After apologizing for my attitude and behavior, Edric took my hand and held it. “Why are you doing that?” I asked, feeling undeserving.

“I love you.”

I didn’t deserve that either!

The rest of the way I spoke very little. After our dinner I asked for an apology again for my disrespectful and un-Christlike response to him. Edric forgave me.

Just a week before I had stood before thousands of people and shared about my life testimony, talking about what God had done in my life. Many people came up to me to encourage me and tell me that they were blessed.

How is it that just days later I said something profane? From the very same mouth that glorified God, came a vile utterance intended to hurt Edric.

On the one hand I could make excuses. We had an engagement every night that week and multiple activities during the day that exhausted me. I was pushing the kids to finish their homeschool work before our vacation. Catalina fell ill. There were many last minute errands that needed my attention, and so on. However the reality was I simply gave in to my carnal self.

I chose to hurl my phone and give in to the rising anger that had cooked up a tempestuous storm inside of me. And then I chose to punctuate it with a curse word for emphasis. I made those choices. Wrong choices that revealed the more pertinent problem of my heart.

My dad and mom used to tell me, if you want to be spirit filled, then “feed the white dog and starve the black one,” in reference to the two antithetical natures that co-exist in all of us. The white dog represents who we are in Christ, the black one symbolizes the flesh — ever lurking, ready to pounce and take over.

(Photo courtesy of car-memes.com)
The “white dog” version of myself had been starved as of late. In all my doings, I made little time to fill myself with truth and to pray. My spiritual reserves were depleted.

Thankfully, I have a long vacation to rest, relax, and recharge…to “feed” the white dog. In the meantime, let me leave you with this passage of scripture that convicted me and ministered to me…

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another. (‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭16-17, 19-26‬ NASB)

Some ideas on how to feed the white dog:
– Meditate on God’s Word daily
– Develop the habit of conversing with God
– Listen and watch what is edifying / what encourages righteousness and holiness
– Surround yourself with people who will keep you accountable and help you grow spiritually
– Declare God’s goodness and gospel to others
– Get adequate sleep and rest
– Develop the areas God has gifted you in and use these skills, hobbies, or resources to bless others and minister to them

If there is a tech-lover and computer savant in our family, it is Elijah, our eldest. At eleven years old he understands programming and code, thanks to Khan Academy. When I am stumped by a gadget issue, I holler for him and he ably rescues me from my ignorance. He also enjoys
reading about the newest gadgets available.

Edric and I hold him back a lot. He doesn’t have his own cell phone, iPad or even a computer or laptop. When necessary, he resorts to borrowing my laptop or iPad.

However, this past year, Elijah earned more than enough money from stocks investments and speaking engagements to pay for his own IPad. So Edric thought it was time he be allowed to get one to use for his “work”. The plan was they would look for one during our vacation in the U.S. Of course, Elijah was thrilled.

A few days after we arrived, he did his research, checking online for the best deals and accompanying Edric to gadget shops. Elijah found a refurbished IPad on Apple’s online store and Edric thought it was a steal, so they decided to buy it. However, someone else beat them to it because they waited a day.

Elijah was disheartened. He had invested time looking for the deal and even chatted with the customer service personnel to clarify certain questions about shipping. We reminded him to keep praying. If it was God’s will, he would find something better. So he quickly snapped out of it and moved on.

Yesterday, he found another superb deal on EBay for an iPad Air First Generation that was close to 350 USD with shipping. He was so excited about it but another interested party outbid him! Once again he was crushed, but we reiterated that he should not lose heart but trust in God’s will.

I was so blessed by his attitude as he took to the defeat positively and processed the disappointment from a spiritual perspective. Of course I was hoping that God would reward him but I kept this to myself.

In the meantime, Edric and I went out with Catalina to shop at Bed, Bath & Beyond. During our trip away, we received a call from Elijah. He was happy to announce that he had come across an IPad Air 2 (16 GgB) for 420 USD with shipping, tax free. (It normally retails at Apple Store for 499 USD without tax.) Strangely, no one bid during the window when he gave his offer. After an hour and a half, the deal became his! My sister told me this was uncommon on EBay. But the seller checked out and the offer was guaranteed by EBay, so Edric and Elijah followed through with the purchase.

Elijah was practically jumping up and down with excitement. Apparently, he wanted the IPad Air 2 but he didn’t condition himself to expect it because it was costlier. So he had set his sights on a simpler model with acceptable specs. This new option was absolutely fantastic as it appealed to the “techiness” in him.

Elijah was going to pay the full amount but Edric said they would split. Still, Elijah asked to pay 75% instead of just 50%. I was so proud of him! This was an occasion for Elijah to “step up” as a young man.

I know his initial disappointment wasn’t easy. But God blocked those two previous selections to get him the best IPad, the one that he secretly dreamed to have.

Interestingly, the night before I attended a bible study led by my brother in law, Jeff, and he focused on James 5. In the chapter there was a portion that I highlighted again and it happened to be about the prophet Elijah!

“…The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.” (‭James‬ ‭5‬:‭16-18‬ NASB)

When my son, Elijah, was dealing with the unfavorable non-purchase, I shared with him the same line: the “prayer of the righteous man accomplishes much,” encouraging him to keep on presenting his longing to the Lord. I knew that Elijah loved God and honored him in his life so if the Lord willed for him to get an iPad deal, he would make it happen. And true enough, God answered Elijah’s prayer in his perfect way and time, even if he had to stomach the disappointment first.

When I asked him what his prayer was, he told me, “Lord, if it is your will, I know you will give it to me. If not, I will feel sad but I know it will be your will, so that’s what is best.”

As a mom, it’s hard for me to see my kids disappointed. It’s also a struggle for me to watch them go through the waiting process. Yet God uses instances like this one to demonstrate his personal involvement in the character development of my kids. Elijah got to experience first-hand what it is like to surrender a desire to the Lord and then receive the reward of his trust and patience.

I turn 38 this week. Hoowee. That sounds old. It’s hard to believe I am almost 40!

Edric asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him I already have everything my heart desires. By God’s grace, that’s the truth. Sure, there are things I WANT — Catalina NOT to have asthma, a baby grand piano, six pack abs, zero cellulite, anti-gravity solutions for my body, an unlimited house-decorating budget, more homeschooling resources… But 2014 was an incredible year and I am grateful.

On the one hand, it was one of the hardest seasons of my life in terms of parenting, homeschooling and ministry. But on the other hand, God blessed me with so many opportunities to enjoy my family, experience his provision, and serve Him. Here are my top 10 highlights…

1. Catalina turned 1 year old and we dedicated her to the Lord, celebrating her life with family and friends.

2. God gave me multiple occasions to share my testimony about tragedy and His healing. (It was televised on Tanikala during Holy Week; I got to speak to abused women at C.R.I.B.S.; I shared it for the first time in another country — at a conference in Brazil; and it was featured in Good Housekeeping in October.)

3. We finished our home and moved in! This was a miracle! God provided the funds and the suppliers to complete this project when we came to him with our “five loaves and two fish.”

4. I started a playgroup with other homeschooling moms in our bible study which has multiplied to accommodate over 30 kids. It’s still growing!

5. We opened up our home to a weekly bible study group with couples who are our neighbors. )

6. Throughout the year, Edric and I spoke on marriage and parenting (topics our hearts really beat for) at events like Before I Do, UECP Family Retreat, TMA Homeschool Roadshows, ACCF Family Retreat, Executive Couples Retreat, Counterflow Parenting Conference, Jubilee Couples Retreat, Saturdates, CCF outreach churches, etc.)

7. Almost every month we got to go on out of town trips as a family to places like Cebu, Palawan, Montemar, Boracay, Tagaytay, Baguio, Pico de Loro, etc.

8. I got to continue writing for my site and counseling online as much as possible despite a hectic year.

9. The kids and I finished our homeschool year! We hobbled through the end line but praise God we were done by September. Tiana is now starting Pre-school, Titus transitioned to Grade 1, Edan to Grade 3, Elijah to Grade 6, and, well, Catalina still disrupts us whenever she can.

10. I am still happily married to Edric and privileges to be mom to our five children.

And at this very moment I am enjoying an extended vacation with them in the U.S.

This year was very challenging for me emotionally, spiritually, and physically, but God was faithful. Even though I stumbled through a lot of 2014, I am amazed at all God did for me and my family. All glory goes to Him as He is the reason I am turning 38 with a smile on my face!

As I end this entry, I want to thank all of you readers for the joy you bring with your emails, messages, and words of encouragement. In many of my low moments this past year I have opened my gmail, Facebook messages or visited comments on my blog and been refreshed by your insights and positivity. Please forgive me if I am not able to respond immediately to all your questions but I want you to know that God has blessed me through your friendship from afar. May He be the light of your heart and home, and the hope that keeps you pressing on. Most of all, may you experience His everlasting love for you!

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the God of gods,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting. To Him who alone does great wonders,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who made the heavens with skill,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who spread out the earth above the waters,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting; To Him who made the great lights, For His lovingkindness is everlasting: The sun to rule by day,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting, The moon and stars to rule by night, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. (‭Psalms‬ ‭136‬:‭1-9‬ NASB)

I watched them embrace one another, old friends…people my dad referred to as “antique” friends, which could have been interpreted as politically incorrect. However, both parties understood what he meant. There are some friendships that stand the test of time. In their case, over forty years.

Over forty years ago, my mom was a singer for a group called Crossroads. They traveled the world bringing Christian music and the gospel of Jesus Christ to people. Chuck and Sandy were part of this group and knew my mother as a single woman – a blond-haired, blue-eyed belle that hailed from Florida.

Burdened to give her life to serve the Lord, my mom left the comforts of America and her boyfriend to minister to people all over Southeast Asia. Naturally, at one point, this landed her on the shores of the Philippines. At a bible study, she met my father, a Chinese businessman who loved God and had a passion for the gospel. It was an unlikely but God-ordained romance that blossomed in the context of a shared desire to reach the world with the message of Christ’s love.

Chuck and Sandy were part of my parents’ history. They were witnesses to God’s orchestration, privy to the process of discernment that my mom went through. When she received confirmation to marry my dad, she asked Sandy to hold her accountable. “God has told me to say yes to Peter and I want you to be a witness that I am supposed to.” These were my mom’s words to Sandy.

While marriage is always a life-altering decision, my mom’s choice to say yes to my dad came with other considerations. This would be a cross-cultural marriage (very uncommon back then). He was a businessman (she was a missionary), and she would have to leave her home for good. Ironically, she told herself she would NEVER marry a businessman. God has a sense of humor.

I’ve always marveled at my mother’s faith. When she married my dad, she looked to the biblical example of Ruth who declared to her mother-in-law, “Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.” Similarly, my mom was willing to follow my dad wherever he would lead her.
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They have been married for nearly 42 years, and by God’s grace, their love grows stronger and more beautiful still. In a world where marriages have shorter and shorter expiry dates, they might be considered a miracle. So it is always refreshing and encouraging to encounter couples who are just like them, who have chosen to keep Christ as the anchor of their relationship.

I had heard Chuck and Sandy’s names names mentioned in stories and seen the sepia and black and white pictures slipped into browned sleeves of old photo albums. But meeting them in person helped me to better understand who my parents are. After all these years, Chuck and Sandy were like a piece of a puzzle that I never knew was missing.

My parents don’t dwell on the past too much. They were never really the type to sit down and narrate every detail of their life histories, so any chance I get to see or hear more about the people they once were is really interesting and entertaining to me. As my parents enter into the winter season of their lives, I want to make sure I know everything I possibly can about them.

They hadn’t seen Chuck and Sandy in over forty years so this was a pretty historic get-together. My parents sat in their living room, which was decorated with wood carvings from the Philippines and other Asian-inspired pieces that looked comfortingly familiar. For an instant I had the same feeling I used to have when I stepped into my grandparents’ home in Pensacola, Florida. The carpeted flooring, the overstuffed sofas and lazy boys in the family room with toys set aside for the grandkids. It was reminiscent of the coziness I always loved when we visited my grandparents during the summer.

We spent a couple of hours in Chuck and Sandy’s home since my parents had decades to catch up on. All four of them have aged significantly since they last saw one another but it was like the old days as they engaged one another in conversation, trading jokes, updates, and exchanging ministry ideas.

When we left I had this sense to write about our time together because I was reminded of the friendships Edric and I share with the people in our discipleship group. Of all people in this world, we walk shoulder to shoulder with them as brothers and sisters in Christ. Forty years from now, what will we be like? What will define the decades that we live?

I pray we will all finish well — that no matter where God leads us we will cross life’s finish line still passionate about loving and serving God, with our marriages unbroken, and our children following Jesus.

Our discipleship group in the Philippines…our bigger family in Christ!

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭9‬:‭24-27‬ NASB)

This was the first time our kids went to Disneyland and Universal Studios. They had a blast. I pushed the stroller around and waited during most of the rides since Catalina was too young to ride but I lived through my kids’ fun vicariously. My greater joy was seeing their responses and reactions. Tiana was adorable when she witnessed the parade of Disney characters. She exclaimed, “I knew I would see princesses! Are they real mommy?”

The passes were my dad’s treat. He wanted to spend time with all of us. So he got tickets for my sister’s family and Edric and I, plus all our children. My dad has this great way of bonding with his grandkids. His method is to take on the grandchildren in manageable doses. One or two families at a time on a trip or vacation with him and my mom. My parents have 15 grandchildren so it’s pretty chaotic when the kids are in complete attendance. (This will happen next week!) Furthermore, the kids gravitate towards one another when they are all present which makes it more challenging to get to know them individually.

By the end of the trip, my kids were holding on to their grandma’s and Angkong’s (grandpa’s) hands. They wanted to sit beside them during meal times. And my parents got to observe and profile their personalities better.

This was a magical time for our family. I was very thankful for the small “fortune” my parents invested to pay for all our park tickets and hotel stays, but the best part for me was being with one another. It’s such a blessing that my mom and dad care to be with our children and disciple them. They want to connect with them and build memories. Edric’s parents are the same way so we have the privilege of having an extra set of parents on both sides looking out for the spiritual, emotional, physical and social well-being of our children.

I get it now. Being a home maker is backbreaking work. I mean, a homemaker in North America. By the end of the day, my idea of a reward is a hot shower or sitting on a couch to watch some mindless movie to fall asleep to. There’s hardly anything left in me to give to Edric or my kids because I am tired.

It hasn’t been stressful cleaning, cooking, and doing the laundry. But it has been physically exhausting. I suppose this is why I have taken long pauses from writing as of late. Plus it isn’t very inspiring to talk about house chores. Who wants to know about how I sort dark and light clothing? It’s somewhere in between maddening and necessary. Everyday I look at the pile of laundry that the kids throw into the hamper and I am like, “You’ve got to be kidding! Do we go through that many clothes?!” Well, we do. We are 7 x 2 outfits a day. So when the kids don’t leave the house, I let them wear their pajamas morning to night. And if they don’t get sweaty, they can postpone their shower to the next day (and wear the same pjs!)

Then, there’s the kitchen. It’s a full-time preoccupation cooking and cleaning the kitchen. Now I understand why cereal is so popular. Heck, why not eat it three times a day! The kids went through an uncountable number of cereal boxes this vacation. I am ashamed to admit they survived on Lucky Charms and Cheerios.

In a few days I will have my unrealistic life back — the one that comes with household help. I finally understand why it is a luxury to be able to pay people to wash the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, cook the meals, etc. America, for all its conveniences and efficiencies, is wonderful and I am glad to be part American.

However, I still prefer living in the Philippines. The kids do, too. They are looking forward to seeing their Siamese cats, toys, own beds, and getting back into the rhythm of our lives in Manila.

Manila doesn’t have the cleanest air or streets. It can get miserably hot. Life is crazy busy for us with homeschooling, business and ministry. But that’s where we are serving God and investing in the lives of others.

I will miss the cold weather, the traffic-less freeways, the quieter life where the extent of your social obligations are four or five good friends, the groceries (oh, the groceries with thirty options for butter!), the steak (I love a good steak), and the nobody-knows-you kind of anonymity that an introvert like myself can really get used to.

But anywhere is home where I am with Edric and the kids. This past month has felt like we have been “at home.” However, I am so thankful to the Lord that at present, our mailing address is in Manila, Philippines. I am looking forward to a decent night’s sleep and breakfast that includes rice and comes with a clean up crew!

Some of the things I learned as a happily desperate housewife on vacation this past month:

1. Buy lots of cereal, milk, eggs, fruit, and cheese, and make these accessible throughout the day.

2. Invest in a ton of wet wipes and bring them everywhere!

3. Breastfeed your infant. It’s the simplest, easiest way to make sure she gets the nourishment she needs. Catalina cut back on the solids because she prefers the soupy, home cooked meals our yayas make for her. Thankfully she breastfed a lot so she was fine during this vacation.

4. Use one bag that can double as a diaper bag and purse. Forget about looking stylish. It’s the practicality you are after.

5. Let the older kids bathe, dress, feed, and clean up after themselves.

6. Have an IPad available to entertain a carseat-restrained infant. I gave in and let Catalina be distracted by hours of YouVersion’s Bible App (for kids) so she wouldn’t cry like a screaming banshee.

7. Give the kids vitamins and extra vitamin C everyday.

8. Take your vitamins and overdose on vitamin C everyday.

9. Encourage the older kids to babysit the younger ones.

10. Dress up and look nice even if you feel tired and want to wear pajamas all day. Only your children are allowed to do that!

11. Teach your 16 month old survival skills like feeding herself or going up and down the stairs so she has the freedom to go around the house without you worrying about her constantly. (Catalina learned to scoot down the carpeted stairs backwards very effectively.)

12. Enjoy the moment even if you are sick and tired of the mess, the amount of effort it takes to mind the whereabouts of five children, or preoccupied by thoughts about what you have to do next.

13. Appreciate the effort your husband makes to sweep the floor, clean out the car, and organize the children so you don’t feel irritated when he says he can’t hold the baby for longer than ten minutes.

14. Train your 16 month old to obey. Catalina was hitting her younger cousin several times a day, every day, and throwing tantrums when she didn’t get her way. We finally started disciplining her by spanking her for disobedience and defiance. Praise God she improved significantly and made the connection — hitting is a no-no, and throwing herself on the floor while rolling around wailing is a no-no, too. Here she is hugging the cousin she used to bully…

15. Saturate your mind with thoughts about God. I downloaded a lot of uplifting music on my Spotify account so I could meditate on the Lord, especially during long drives.

16. Find ways to recharge — nap times while you breastfeed, hot showers, short shopping trips, a fun movie, a chocolate chip cookie (or two or three. You will burn it off with keeping house and breastfeeding.)…Yes, I still managed to sneak in some me-time during this chore-ridden vacation.

17. Serve others with a joyful attitude without grumbling or thinking “you-owe-me.” Several times I was tempted to be irritated at every single person in my family for all the chores I had to do while they got to play or enjoy themselves. But God reminded me to work for Him.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. (‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭23-24‬ NASB)

The kitchen crew…

Edan might have fractured his wrist yesterday. I am taking him to the doctor just to make sure. He was jumping off our backyard swing when he slipped and landed on his right arm. Since he usually doesn’t express much of what is going on inside, Edric and I became concerned when he was bawling everytime his arm was jostled.

Interestingly, Edan’s entire countenance magically improved and his whining desisted when the mailman delivered his package from Pitcher Plant Farm last night. I announced, “Your plants arrived!” He perked up and smiled. I presented his eight carnivorous plants to him on the kitchen island and his eyes lit up.

They didn’t look like much but Elijah and Edan mouthed out their scientific names (in Latin, of course), going back and forth with one another about each one’s peculiarities and what they had to do to revive them. When I pulled them out of the package, they all resembled wilted leaves to me but the boys knew what to do.

Prior to our trip to the U.S., Edan asked if he could get carnivorous plants as his Christmas present. We had been covering Botany and he zoned in on the Venus fly traps, Pitcher Plants, Bladderworts, and Sundews as his favorites. On his own initiative, he did further research about where to get these plants and discovered that there was a German horticulturist based in Bukidnon who specialized in carnivorous plants. (Pitcher Plant Farm is located in Malaybalay City, Bukidnon Province about 90 minutes south of Cagayan de Oro on Mindanao island. It is owned by Volker Heinrich.)

Edric ordered the plants online and Volker Heinrich was pretty specific about how to care for the plants. Thank goodness too because I thought the purchase was a disaster when I opened up the plastic to survey what looked like dying plants and dirt. But Edan couldn’t have been happier. His excitement eclipsed his pain. After all, he had been anticipating the arrival of these insect-digesting wonders for weeks. This was one of the reasons why he was eager to get back home from our vacation in the U.S.

I attribute his interest towards Botany to home schooling. He gets to pursue topics that he is drawn to. The same goes for my other kids. I cover the essentials during instruction time but they have the liberty to dig deeper if they want to. Edric and I provide them with the tools and materials to further their discoveries. These days Edan is not only fascinated by plants, he likes anything related to science. (Before he hurt his harm, he and his brothers made slime. I saw the gooey outcome of their experimentation when they proudly showed off their creations — glow in the dark slime, metallic slime and color-changing slime! One for each of my boys.)

Children will learn with gusto when the environment encourages autonomy, mastery, and purpose. This is something I picked up about motivation from a TED Talk given by author, Daniel Pink, who wrote the bestseller, Drive, some years ago.
He said that the dangling-of-a-carrot-on-a-stick form of motivation can only go so far because the driver is external. The best form of motivation ought to be intrinsic. Don’t just pay employees higher to manage their outcomes. Instead, organizations ought to cultivate an environment that encourages autonomy, mastery, and purpose.

Most jobs today rely on “heuristic work” rather than “algorithmic work.” Algorithmic work is predictable problem solving, where a line can be drawn to a singular answer. This sort of thing can be outsourced and automated. Heuristic work requires experimentation with possibilities to come up with new solutions. It needs creativity.

I would like to believe that this verily applies to education as well. At the collegiate end of our children’s learning journey, we don’t want them to be rote thinkers. We want them to take the initiative to apply their skills and knowledge (autonomy and mastery) to better the world they live in, a goal that is beyond themselves (purpose). For our family, this means making a difference for Jesus Christ.

Autonomy, mastery, and purpose begin at home. I need to trust my children’s natural desire to learn. Even though I set parameters as their instructor, I don’t restrict them to paper and pen tasks or textbooks. As I mentioned earlier, if a topic we studied piques their curiosity like carnivorous plants, I give them free time during the day to research and read about it.

As for mastery, when a task or skill is important, I require hard work and discipline from my kids. But I also slow down if necessary so they can proceed to the next task or skill only when they are equipped and ready. This is more applicable to subjects like math, reading, spelling, writing, and comprehension.

Unpreparedness only fosters discouragement and insecurity. But a child who isn’t overloaded with information by an instructor or hurried along for the sake of keeping up with the lesson plan, will develop the confidence level to take on more challenging work as he or she masters bite sized portions of learning. Challenges ought to be discernibly matched to ability so a child can progress to more difficult ones knowing that his best effort will produce favorable results.

Finally, there is purpose. My oldest son, Elijah, used to dislike math with a passion. He doesn’t even remember this anymore. But he would resist my attempts at teaching him when he was four or five years old. Until I explained how meaningful math is to our very existence and how practical its applications are in everyday life, he considered it a chore. I had to let him see math’s significance first and then his attitude changed. Today math is one of his favorite subjects.

As my children grow up, Edric and I emphasize that their education is part of God’s plan for them, to accomplish his will and to influence this world for Jesus Christ. So they need to do their best and be excellent, not to become smart or to do well on tests (that’s a small part of the bigger picture), but to prepare themselves for the greater work they will one day do for the Lord. It’s a purpose that is higher than themselves or even our family.

None of my kids are perfect students in the sense that they ALWAYS have a good attitude when they are homeschooling. But I am happy to say that they are motivated learners because homeschooling provides them with an environment where autonomy, mastery and purpose can flourish. Why else would an 8 year old want to learn the latin names of all the carnivorous plants and grow them on his own?! It may not be the most important things to memorize or do but he’s certainly learning how to learn about difficult content and that’s a valuable skill for success. Plus he is having a lot of fun, even with his sprained arm. It is a sprain after all and not a fracture according to our doctor. Whew!

During our vacation Titus learned to bike, use the scooter, and rollerblade. “Hey, mom! Look at me!” He would say as he whirred past on a bike, or scooter and eventually, rollerblades.

A few years ago, he tried all three but his body wasn’t ready. Plus, he needed someone to keep him steady. This time he took off very naturally.

He usually surprises me with his capacity to learn skills and pick up concepts without much instruction from Edric or me. A lot of it has to do with his willingness to try and experiment. Fear is not his first impulse. To attempt is, and persistence one of his shining characteristics. Eventually, he receives the reward of his laboriousness and relishes in the sweet victory of effort.

I have always been fascinated by Titus. Although my heart is inclined to all five of my children in the same way and I have no favorites, each of their peculiarities intrigues me in a different way. Titus’ penchant for exploration and discovery is more pronounced than his siblings’. He is rarely restrained by the kind of self-consciousness that often keeps people like myself from enjoying a moment without suffering the burden of a thousand thoughts.

(Lying on the stairs while entertaining his cousin.)

His approach is “see then figure out by doing.” I have asked him many times, “how did you learn to do that?” in reference to a new ability or conquest he has acquired or undertaken and he will nonchalantly reply, “I just saw it and then I did it, or I just thought about it and then I did it.”

This type of response often elicits laughter from me as he responds to the world around him with a delectable spontaneity that I sometimes wish belonged to me. He has little regard for the risks involved which means that he also learns through bruises and falls. On the other spectrum is someone like myself, who quietly calculates the effort, plausibility, appropriateness, and consequences of committing to any sort of task or adventure.

(His own scooter for Christmas)

When we were living in a cabin in Tahoe for a few days, Titus was intrigued by the light switches. He could not resist pressing each one to see which lights they corresponded to. We were in the middle of dinner on one occasion, when he turned the lights on and off. For a second, 24 people sat in darkness as he got his fidget-fix. All was well as he ably switched them back on when family members exclaimed in unison, “Who is doing that? Stop it!” They were gentle enough, especially when they realized it was none other than our curious Titus pouncing upon a cause-and-effect opportunity.

Thankfully, he is learning to control his inclinations towards taking things apart or touching things he isn’t supposed to. It took several years of repetitive intervention on my part and Edric’s to encourage him to filter through his choices. As any parent ought to know, parenting requires adjusting to each child’s uniqueness with grace and patience. Only God can supply the grace to successfully teach and train our children the way he wants us to.

In our family, we share the same goal for each of our kids, but we have to customize the instruction and discipline aspects. No two children get the same plan, and all five require careful observation and study.

This extended vacation provided many opportunities to get to know our children better. Edric, in particular, probably benefitted the most from 24/7 contact. It was a rare 30+ days of investment in time with our children. Even though he was intentional about discipling them before, I am pretty sure he can profile them more accurately now.

It’s been a joy to be more informed about how Titus thinks and responds to situations, and to celebrate his successes. He teaches me to “chill” as a mom, to relax and avoid the type of over-concern that infects my children with fear and self-doubt. Yes, he may fall and injure himself as he boldly attempts to balance, climb, catapult, cross over, lean, crawl, bounce, jump, etc, but that’s the way a Titus-person learns best. For as along as he isn’t injuring others or taking fatal risks, I am now able to sit back and applaud his courage, curiosity, and relentlessness for what they are — unique gifts from the Lord that can be channeled positively for His greater purposes.

It’s a miracle when twenty-three people can live in a cabin together for four days and not go crazy. Soon after Christmas day, my parents along with four of us siblings and our families traveled to Tahoe Donner.

We rented a beautiful, huge cabin that had five large rooms to house all of our families. It came with a Jacuzzi, too!

The weather was perfect – super cold so the kids could experience a “real” winter, and it snowed the day before we left.

I went sledding for the first time and threw a couple of snowballs. I didn’t realize how much a snowball could hurt! One of my nephews got a bloody lip (not by my doing!)

The highlight for me was sitting around the dinner table with my siblings and parents, and our spouses as we shared about our marriages. My parents try to do this with us periodically in Manila but we are all pretty busy so it’s not a consistent activity. This vacation we were stuck in the house together so the opportunity presented itself when the kitchen was cleaned up and the kids were busy entertaining one another.

Each one of us gave insight into our relationships. I shared that Edric and I don’t have any major issues except that I react to his impatience and irritation when these traits are manifest. It’s not often that he will get upset but I noticed that he was edgier during this trip. This was the first time he had to do chores and help me take care of all of our kids. I know he learned a lot about sacrifice and service. He would say this vacation made him a better man and I wholeheartedly agree. However, there were a few incidences when he lost his cool.

Thankfully, we resolved whatever issues we had between us, and we were able to come before my parents and siblings to openheartedly hear their perspectives on our marital issues. As the more intense person between us, Edric is more prone to irritation when he has to deal with inefficiencies and inconveniences. But my mistake is challenging his responses and correcting him when he is upset which snowballs the situation into an unnecessary argument or unhealthy discussion.

For example, Edric was stern with Elijah for playing with his baby cousin, Joshua, near the garage door. When Edric walked through the door, he accidentally knocked Joshua on the head and blamed Elijah for sitting in the way. This time I pounced back by throwing the Tupperware I was putting away into the cupboard. Edric noticed this and challenge me by asking, “What?!” To which I replied while stooped behind the kitchen island and away from Elijah’s vista, “Don’t talk to him (Elijah) like that.” He mistakenly heard, “Don’t talk to me.” So he countered, “No, you don’t talk to me,” which doubly irked me. However, I stopped inciting Edric because neither of us was in the right frame of mind to resolve our altercation at that moment.

That evening Edric and I had a date night with my sister, Candy, and her husband, Jeff. They were holding hands while strolling through the streets of Old Sacramento, unaware that Edric and I had a tiff with one another earlier that day. Edric and I were walking about two feet apart behind Jeff and Candy. I leaned over to Edric and asked, “Do you have something to say to me?” insinuating that I had received no apology for his earlier behavior. He replied, “Nope. Do you have something to say to me?”

Seriously?! I thought. He was the prime instigator of our conflict earlier! I kept silent wishing he would put his arm around me and apologize because we were walking in 7 degree Celsius weather that night. Plus, I wanted to maximize this date night since we hired babysitters who weren’t cheap!

Still, Edric didn’t budge, so I proudly held my own position, shivering inside. After a few minutes, he wandered off to buy a mistletoe from a street vendor who was raising money to help his sister travel to Washington D.C. (Edric is drawn to random attractions that other people don’t always notice.) I don’t know if Edric was planning to hold that mistletoe over my head in the hopes for a kiss but that was the last thing I wanted to do.

In the meantime, Jeff, Candy, and I were seated in the restaurant talking about our marriages. I volunteered to confess that Edric and I were kind of fighting. (Usually I won’t do this until I work it out with Edric first.) Candy’s advice was exactly what I didn’t want to hear but needed to. She suggested I apologize to Edric for reacting to his outburst. Even if he was not right for getting unnecessarily upset, she told me to humble myself because that’s what God would want me to do.

When Edric came into the restaurant (without the mistletoe because he didn’t have small change to buy it with), I immediately volunteered, “I’m sorry, hon, for earlier. Please forgive me.” He wasn’t expecting to have been the topic of conversation and looked perturbed. “So what were you guys talking about?” He asked with suspicion.

That dinner turned out to be an interesting one for all of us as Edric and I addressed the day’s dramatics right there and then, with Jeff and Candy looking on. And all was well again as we apologized to one another. For the rest of our evening, we dialogued about how our marriages were doing and I appreciated the time to be able to be honest with one another.

When we were in Tahoe we did the same thing with my other siblings and their spouses. Each one gave their own spiritual insights and solutions, which was great because Edric and I don’t get to sit down with counselors or mentors that often. Our ministry targets young families and couples so we need to grow in our own marriage, and that means receiving feedback and guidance from those who know us best.

Edric was advised that he needs to think through the pattern of behavior that leads to unwanted outbursts. I was advised that I ought to stay quiet instead of reacting to his negativity. Although I already knew this, it was a good reminder to apply being gentle and quiet when I am tempted to fight back. During moments when I’m not the first to commit the “crime” I can be like the whiplash that adds trauma to injury. The reality is, spirit-filled silence has always worked better but sometimes I intentionally forget this when I’m dealing with my own version of anger.

After Edric and I shared, each family member did the same – identifying areas of improvement in their own persons and marriages, and what aspects they appreciated about one another. It was a blessed discussion that left us all a little wiser and closer to our spouses and one another as a family.

It’s not always easy to bear our weaknesses with others or to listen attentively to the suggestions that are offered to help us better our relationships. But no marriage is an island. Sometimes we may feel like we don’t have problems or it is nobody’s business to know what our marital issues are, but every marriage can improve to become sweeter, more loving, and more Christ-like.

I’m blessed to have family members (on my side and Edric’s side) who are committed to strengthening our marriage in Christ. We all share the same mind when it comes to biblical principles and their applications in husband and wife relationships. But the secret is each one of us has a relationship with Jesus Christ first. Therefore we can commune about our marriages openly, and digest each other’s advice without becoming embittered. I’m not saying it’s easy to do this but the context is, Hey, it’s okay to have these struggles in your marriage. All of us do. What counts is that we all want to please God in our relationships. We share the desire to change and improve because we love God, our spouses, and one another.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as also you are doing.”

I need someone like Edric in my life, someone who is spontaneous, quirky, silly, and totally corny (sometimes). Contrary to what my name implies, I can be serious too often. Edric doesn’t let me be that way. He is a great counterbalance to my tendency towards melancholy and introspection.

He plays tricks on me, like hiding behind doors to scare me, even though he knows I hate this. One time he surprised me in the shower and I screamed and cried. When he realized my tears were real, he totally apologized and hasn’t done the shower surprise since. But he certainly loves to get a reaction out of me.

Sometimes he will call and pretend to be another person. Or he will come up to me when I am shopping and act like a stranger who is hitting on me. He is also a big tease and will playfully prey on my insecurities. And he will flirt with me in public which often makes me awkward, and then say, “What?! We are married! We have five kids!”

I have never really given it much thought but, boy, would it be boring if he was a serious, uptight and always proper Edric more often than his emotionally-liberated self. Don’t get me wrong. He is well-mannered and knows how to be a gentleman. However I am glad he knows how to be a fun husband and a fun dad, too. Let me rephrase that. HE IS a fun husband and a fun dad.

At the dinner table, he acts out a character called “Mini-rat” which is a horror version of Mickey Mouse when the kids don’t eat their food right away. He will crawl under the table and “attack” them. The kids will squeal and shout in delight as he does this dialogue with an imaginary cast of characters. Mini-rat is the star of the show. The kids really get a kick out of it.

I have often watched Edric laughing during these ridiculous moments and wondered why I am not that way. I tend to be the observer on the sidelines, the one to tell the story afterwards. My problem is I can be too detached and not invested enough to join in the craziness. Edric teaches me to be otherwise.

God knows how to put two people together. When I was younger I thought I would fall in love with the quiet, brooding type — the talented artist or the fascinating intellectual, someone who hopefully looked like a Marlboro Man, gruff and scruffy and very manly (sans the smoking, of course!) I was never the kind of girl who liked the poster boy jocks or the men with perfect faces. Typical was not attractive to me.

When I met Edric, he happened to be the right combination of everything I was looking for and wasn’t looking for. I am not just referring to the physical. Yes, I thought he was very good-looking. But I was drawn to him in an unexpected sort of way — to his unpretentiousness and charm, to his protective and gentlemanly nature, to the ease at which we were able to communicate, to the many similar values and spiritual perspectives we shared, to his bent towards heroism, to his natural leadership and passion for a cause. But it wasn’t really until marriage that I discovered how fun a person he was. It was a delightful bonus.

Marriage should be fun. Imagine being with someone for decades and decades and taking everything so seriously? That’s probably what would have happened if I married someone I picked! Thankfully, God chose Edric for me. He tailor-fit him to my personality, to my strengths and weaknesses.

Being married to Edric has taught me another way to live — to relax and enjoy a bit of healthy silliness. I laugh more now. I crack dumb jokes. I know how to play a prank or two. I even like corny. (I am still working on the spontaneous part.) But one thing is for sure…I am a better version of JOY because God gave Edric to me.

To the laughs we share through richer or poorer, for better or worse…

I woke up to a husband who called me to his bedside just to tell me, “I appreciate you, hon. All you do as a wife and mother. If I don’t tell you enough I want you to know that I am so blessed by you.”

Wow! What an unexpected surprise! It certainly set the tone for the rest of my Sunday.

Edric knows that I am a words kind of gal. Encouragement makes me feel loved. Really loved.

The great thing about positive words is it’s the EASIEST way to communicate to your spouse that they are important to you, that they are special and appreciated. You don’t have to exert physical effort to say I love you or I appreciate you. You don’t have to spend money to speak life-giving statements.

You do, however, have to notice and pay attention. My mom used to say, “have a detective’s eye for praise-worthy character in your children.” This is applicable in marriage, too.

Edric told me he noticed that I woke up to attend to Catalina last night, that I inconvenienced myself to get out of bed when I heard her coughing. Nobody has to call out this sort of sacrifice. I don’t wake myself up to check on Catalina and feed her in the hopes that someone in my family will give me a pat on the back for effort. Like all other moms, that’s what we do. But when Edric or the kids interrupt my autopilot mom-mode to say thank you, it feels pretty incredible! Duty turns into inspiration!

Even husbands can benefit from our words of praise. When we were in the U.S. for a month Edric helped me with chores and the kids. It was a matter of survival! We couldn’t leave poop in a diaper! We couldn’t ignore big bags of trash inside the house!

Up until that point, I had never seen my husband hold a broom and dustpan so many times in his life, get out of bed to help me catch Catalina’s vomit, marshall the kids to do their responsibilities, vacuum the car, haul trash, fix the bed, carry Catalina…I could go on.

His domesticity and fathering were impressive! And so I told him so many times. When I would commend his kitchen skills like sweeping the floor, he would beam, hold up the broom like a weapon of war and shout out triumphantly, “This is my floor!”

Do we notice the wise choices, the acts of service, or the sacrifices our spouses make or do we treat these as a given? No applause needed because they are supposed to be doing these things? When was the last time we said, Thank you, hon?

So many of us fail to say thank you and I appreciate you enough. If you are living with an approbation-starved spouse, revive them today with your appreciation. Make them eager and excited to fulfill their role as husband/father or wife/mother. And, hey, if you are feeling extra gracious, do something sweet and give them
a “trophy.”

Edric and the kids got me these magnetic mini-Oscars for my birthday two weeks ago. Pretty cute, huh? These are the best thank you awards I have ever received!

My kids are loving these books by Ana de Borja Araneta and Krie Reyes Lopez, which were published by Anvil Publishing:

Over lunch I shared with the kids how blessed I was that a reader of my blog was introduced to Jesus Christ through my site. I went on to explain that I began Teachwithjoy for the purpose of connecting people to Christ and nothing delights me more than to hear about instances when this happens. So often it astonishes me that God allows me to reach people I would never be able to sit down with and have a conversation with. When I started to tear for joy the kids had mixed reactions. They weren’t sure what was going on.

Tiana was troubled. “Why are you crying?” Her big eyes fixated on my tear-filled ones.

Titus asked with a mouthful of food, “Why are you sad?” He didn’t get the concept of “tears of joy.”

Elijah continued working on a testimony he was writing but he was listening. We jokingly call him the “all” hearing one because he can tune in to any conversation within a range of five meters. And then there was Edan, who started to exhibit tears himself.

He empathized with the joy I felt, the joy of making Jesus Christ known to others. And he covered his face in embarrassment as his siblings looked, overwhelming him with their inquiries.

I approached him and quietly asked why he was crying. He revealed that it makes him happy when people hear about Jesus. Being the more quiet child of my five, it’s instances like these that I treasure, when I get a glimpse into his person.

I hugged him. Edan’s heart beats for evangelism. He is often the first to ask, “Do you think that person knows Jesus?” And he will suggest that we share the gospel if it seems like they don’t. Some months ago, he inquired if President Aquino believed in Jesus. When Edric asked him why this mattered to him, his response was, “If the President knows Jesus then he can tell everyone about Jesus!” (If only it was as simple as that!)

Sometimes I assume that our kids know that Edric and I love the Lord, that we desire to serve him. But we need to keep declaring the works of God to our children, to highlight his goodness in our midst, and to share the struggles and joys of living for Him. When we do so, it enables them to connect life and faith. Faith becomes tangible and personal.

The Bible actually encourages us to do this. We must give the next generation a history of faith to pass on…the mighty works of God in days of old, but also in the present. He is not a distant God of the ancients, he is intimately involved in the now. What better way for our children to encounter this truth than to hear the stories we tell — stories that will teach them to recognize his handprint in the unfolding of their own?

We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. (‭Psalms‬ ‭78‬:‭4‬ NASB)

Being able to educate our own children in a day and age when resources abound is an advantage we must absolutely take advantage of!

My personal conviction is that these are the best years in history to homeschool children. During the years when my mom was teaching us, she would go to the bookstore and pick out a stack of books (very often without teacher’s guides) and use those to educate us. Well, those days are long gone! Praise God! And hey, my siblings and I turned out okay without all the resources that children today have access to. What more today!

Today, it’s not so much about what you know but if you know where to go to equip yourself and get the help you need. The key is resourcefulness. If you can’t teach a topic or a subject well (or FEEL like you can’t), you can do one or more of the following:

1. Get a tutor for specific subjects that are difficult to teach (if you can afford it).

2. Supplement your instruction with online resources and educational apps. 

Take for instance a site like Khan Academy. When my kids don’t understand a math problem or I’m going crazy trying to explain a concept, I ask them to visit Khan Academy. The great thing about this site is how easily and clearly skills are explained and broken down for kids. Elijah has educated himself using Khan Academy. It counts more for him because he needs higher level math instruction. The math aspect of Khan Academy provides lessons and exercises (and rewards) for the most basic arithmetic all the way up to Calculus.

What a relief it was when I stumbled across this site three years ago! And it’s free!

If you have a learner who is struggling with math or you are a homeschool mom who doesn’t feel very confident teaching it, then use this site! An added plus is Khan Academy also has topics like science, computer programming, arts and humanities…However, Elijah primarily uses it for math and computer programming. We prefer a creation-based approach to science.

3. Join a coop and team teach with other moms who are experts or passionate about certain subject areas. I love our coop! The kids enjoy classes like music theory, arts and crafts, science, bible & character, speech, Filipino, local civics, literature studies, and physical fitness.  Soon, we will be adding a cooking class! It’s getting to be super big so I can’t keep inviting people to it. But the idea of it is easily replicable. Find out who is homeschooling in your area. You can send out a random Facebook post if you have no idea where to start. I asked the ladies in my bible study group if they would like to do group homeschooling. That’s how we started.

The first thing you have to do is have a general assembly. Pick a day in the week to gather together.  During the first meeting discuss…

– Purpose and goals (ex. group learning experiences, specialization classes)

– Venue. It can be at a home or at a church. We rent our church’s facilities because we can’t fit in a house without tearing it apart.

– Set a date, time, and frequency of meetings

– Kids’ groupings (example: 0 to 3, 4 to 6, 7 to 10, 11 to 13 etc.)

– Activities/subjects to cover for each quarter

– Assign moms who can teach or assist (rotation can be on a quarterly basis so no one gets “abused.”)

– Set blocks of time, like 30 to 45 minute slots for each lesson.

– Agree on costs involved

– Start a Facebook, Viber, or WhatsApp group to stay connected.

– Set up coop rules so everyone is aligned on expectations. These are the rules we initially started off with but we’ve relaxed and become less legalistic! Okay, I HAVE BECOME LESS LEGALISTIC because I wrote these rules!

GROUP HOMESCHOOLING RULES: (Not all of these are applicable anymore because we moved our meetings to a different venue but you can still get some helpful ideas from this list.)

• Please inform your children that they are attending this activity to learn cooperatively. If they can’t sit through the sessions and they are interruptive, please take them aside and talk to them. Please don’t assume that whoever is teaching is going to be able to manage all the children. So, please make sure your kids know that attentiveness is required. Let’s create a culture of good listeners!
• If your children make a mess, please encourage them to clean up before leaving. This is part of our character training for the kids. They need to clean up and pack away properly after themselves.
• No jumping on furniture or eating in the 2^nd floor rooms, living room, and family room. This is for pest control purposes and we have couches that I would prefer don’t get stains on them. I know you mommies will understand. 
• Group Class will be held in the family room (for Bible and character). Classes for the older kids will be held in the kitchen. Classes for the younger kids will be held in the dining room. Babies can play in the playroom. Art will be done on the patio or lanai, not inside (unless it is raining). In case the kids work with messy materials, there’s nothing to “destroy” out there.
• No babies hanging around during the older kids and younger kids’ sessions. They will be a distraction.
• Please bring a dish to share for lunch.
• Please bring your own art supplies/kits/paper/notebooks.
• To make this sustainable, everyone who joins must be willing to teach or assist at some point. That’s a requirement for joining the group.
• If you plan an activity as a “teacher,” please inform moms ahead of time about supplies and materials.

4. Enroll your child in a class at a center or club.  Check out centers like Learning Library, Coach E Basketball School, Abacus Math (SIP Academy), Mathemagis, Bert Lozada Swimschool, Futbol Funatics, Team Socceroo, Club Gymnastica, Perkins Twins Tennis Academy, KidzArt, Global Art,  etc. Smart Parenting has an exhaustive list of summer classes from 2014 with helpful links to centers and clubs that may offer classes all year. It’s worth checking out their article: A Guide to Summer Classes And Activities 2014.

5. Ask a school if your child can pay to attend some of the classes. Elijah did this with The Abba’s Orchard when he was in Kindergarten. He attended two days of Montessori classes for a semester. I’m not sure if they are still offering this but The Abba’s Orchard is a great option.

6. Link up with an support group, like Homeschoolers in the Philippines. Donna Pangilinan-Simpao, a mother of four, is the moderator. Her two older sons are in Brent and Beacon school for High School (after successfully homeschooling them). Her younger two are in Grade 5 and Grade 3 and still homeschooled. Donna is actually a doctor! But she decided to focus on homeschooling her children. She has over years and years and years of glorious homeschooling experience. She is one of those homeschooling moms that has always made everything look so easy…very organized and intentional. More importantly, she is a godly wife and mother, and she would tell you she does it all by God’s grace. That’s why I admire her.

The group has 2,300 members and counting. It is one of the best support groups I’ve seen in the Philippines. With a conglomeration of homeschoolers from different backgrounds, who use various approaches, you will find help for every topic that’s homeschool-related. To join, Donna suggests that you…Type the name Homeschoolers of the Philippines on the Facebook search box, and request to be added. It’s as easy as that!

7. Ask friends or relatives who own businesses or who are professionals to let your child apprentice with them. Okay, so they have to be a VERY GOOD friend or loving relative to invest time with your child. But it’s worth looking into. Homeschoolers develop an idea of who they want to be pretty early on. They don’t have to wait until college to learn their craft if you can connect them to someone who can teach them now.

8.  Take a trip to a museum, gallery, site or city to make the learning hands-on. When we were in San Francisco, we took the kids to the Exploratorium with their cousins. They were like ballistic missiles, darting in every direction in this sensorial arts, humanities, and science wonderland.

9. Attend seminars and/or classes to educate yourself. For example, TMA Homeschool recently tied-up with International School of Theology so it can offer a Master’s Degree in Education option to parents of enrolled students. Pretty cool, eh?! The concept is earn a degree while homeschooling.

10. Pray! Pray! Pray! “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5) This verse always encourages me. When I lack creativity or need to improve as a parent-teacher, God gives me ideas.

No one who homeschools is an expert at every subject and topic they need to teach. So be encouraged. You don’t have to know everything because it’s so much more about resourcefulness these days. If there is a will, there is a way. Find a way!

This past December, Edric and I went to Disneyland and California Adventure with our children, my sister’s family and my mom and dad. We had a “system” for making sure we got to the best rides.

Both parks have fast passes and switch passes that make it easier for people to bypass the lines so we took advantage of these. The kids got to enjoy all the classics of the good ol’ days and the newer ones like Cars.

I didn’t get to ride on too many attractions because of Catalina but that was fine. She was my priority so I stayed with her and the stroller most of the time. Besides, the only ride that I really cared about was Small World. When I was a little girl this one was one of my favorites.

When it was decided that we would all go on this ride together, I was excited! But we had to park all the strollers first. Between my sister, Candy, my brother-in-law, Jeff, Edric and me, we had three strollers to leave behind. (One of them was a double.)

After parking the strollers we all met again at the line thinking the kids were complete. There should have been eight kids. However, unbeknown to us, Corban was missing. (Corban is my 5 year old nephew, the eldest son of Jeff and Candy.)

In this photo, Corban is the younger child with glasses…

Jeff and Candy didn’t realize he wasn’t with them because they assumed he had run off to be with our kids. This happened often during our time in Disneyland and California Adventure. The kids would congregate together so it wasn’t extraordinary to think that Corban was among his cousins.

The Small World line was about fifteen minutes long and the ride itself took fifteen minutes. It wasn’t until we exited that Candy asked, “Where’s Corban?” We surveyed the children and counted all of them. Corban was missing! When we all realized that he never got on the ride with us, Jeff and Candy darted off in a panic. They handed off their baby, Joshua, and three year old, Levi, to me. Attempting to retrace their steps they called out, “Corban! Corban!”

I saw the terror in their faces as they ran everywhere. My parents, Edric and I, and our kids were very worried, too. We prayed and prayed that he was alright, that he would be found. I started up the street with my kids and Candy’s younger kids in tow while everyone else helped with the search.

A few moments later, two ladies approached me and asked, “Are you looking for a boy? We were following him because we were concerned about him. We are so glad to know that he’s going to be okay.” That’s all they said and they walked away. These two young women were strangers. I had no idea who they were. But when they said this I was hoping they were referring to Corban.

A few minutes later I saw Corban in his parents arms, making their way towards us. Corban’s eyes were red and swollen from all the crying but the important thing was he was saved! I can’t even begin to explain the relief that came over all of us as we took in the sight of Corban. Losing Corban felt like a nightmare, one of those parent’s-worst-fears sort of situations!

Jeff and Candy found him in the arms of an elderly man, a security guard. At first, he kind of scolded them for their neglect. He was like, “How could you not know your child was missing for thirty minutes?!” He wasn’t angry, just incredulous.

Later on in the day, I got the chance to ask Corban what happened, after the drama died down. He narrated to me how he had followed his parents to the stroller parking. When they situated the stroller among the multitude of strollers, he lost track of them and got separated. Since he didn’t see them go to the Small World line, he waited at the stroller parking thinking they would reappear at some point. He stayed put but then realized that no family member was in sight or coming back to look for him. At this point he started to panic and cry. He thought perhaps he ought to walk in one direction (which was the opposite of where we were). That’s when the elderly gentleman saw him, escorted him, and held him while he was bawling.

I don’t know how the two ladies who spoke to me came into the picture because Corban didn’t talk about them. This leads me to believe that somehow, God used them to keep an eye on him from a distance. Maybe they were even angels!

What is certain is God protected Corban while we rode the Small World attraction, completely oblivious to how scared and alone he was. In an amusement park that could have had a number of predatorial and ill-intentioned people lurking around, who could have preyed on or taken away a vulnerable five year old, it was God’s merciful dealing with our carelessness that kept Corban safe. When I replay the scene in my mind and mull over how absent-minded and caught up we were in the gaiety of the ride, watching those dancing toys in total ignorance, it makes me so thankful that God is a much better parent than we all are!

While it was an innocent mistake, there was no excuse for forgetting a child that belonged to us. All of us adults felt guilty in some way for the shared neglect and presumptuousness we exhibited.

I praise God for being Corban’s rescuer. He watched over Corban by sending those kind women to tail him and the security guard to hold him until he was found. This was a lesson on vigilance for all of us parents, but it was also an experience of God’s grace and love. God’s grace and love rescued him from our mistake. While we obviously can’t live with the mindset that our mistakes are okay because God can supersede them, it was comforting to know that God looks out for the well-being of our kids. He loves them infinitely more than we ever can or will.

Of course, after this experience, we also learned to count each of our children CONTINUALLY! No other untoward incidences met us the rest of our stay and we all made it back home together and complete! Plus, Corban soon forgot the incident and moved on without post-traumatic stress.

I am so thankful it was a painful lesson with a HAPPY ending because God elected for Corban to be found. We may have forgotten about him but God did not!

“Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.” (‭Isaiah‬ ‭49‬:‭15‬ NASB)

Elijah is turning twelve this month. He hasn’t experienced puberty yet but I am anticipating that it will happen soon, which kind of frightens me. When will his testosterone-driven urges emerge? Will he start getting moody? And what about all the physical changes?!

I ran into one of his friends the other day who transformed into a young man in the few months I had not seen him. His voice was husky and low, he looked a head taller, and I spied a shadowy line of hair across his upper lip.

“What happened?” I idiotically asked him. “I went through puberty,” was his matter-of-fact reply, coupled with a grin and chuckle that hinted at, Isn’t it obvious? 

And it was. Obvious, I mean. Of course he went through puberty! I suppose I asked the question to remind myself that at some point I will be staring at my oldest son, wondering the same thing. I imagine that this assault on my reality will be accompanied by crying. (I already feel like crying. Okay, I am crying a little bit.)

A few weeks ago, Edric called me to his study room and pointed to his laptop where he was going through archives of family videos. We were like two addicts, hovering over the screen. I saw several videos of Elijah as a toddler. I had forgotten how high pitched his voice was. In one video he was smiling in every scene, revealing those deep dimples on either side of his face. Edric was coaching him for my surprise music video. They connived to sing their version of Chris Brown’s With You hit for my 30th birthday. There was Elijah, dressed in a hoodie, bobbing his head up and down as he vocalized the chorus, “With you, with you, with you, with you, with you…”

In another clip, he was blowing out birthday candles and shouting out spontaneous reactions as he unwrapped presents. “Yeah!” “Wow!” I remember telling him before this that he should communicate excitement and gratitude for every present he received, and he did so with such obedience, wanting to make sure that everyone knew he appreciated their gifts.

How did he become the big-footed, long-limbed, Google-humanoid who was sitting beside me on the couch, swiping through his Evernote checklist of daily activities while I wrote this post? I looked over at him as he grabbed his Singapore Math book, propped himself back on the couch, and started whistling a classical tune in perfect pitch.

“That’s a beautiful song. What are you whistling?” I asked.

“Gavotte from Mignon. It’s Edan’s song for violin class.”

“Another Gavotte? Why do you guys play so many Gavotte songs for your violin class?”

Elijah looked up from his book, and true to his Google-like capacities, explained, “Gavotte refers to a dance, an Italian dance. So different Gavottes can be composed by different people…” He didn’t mock me for not knowing that, even if he could have.

He may sound like an encyclopedia but he is still a boy, for the next twelve months, at least! But Elijah is aware that his needs are changing.

We had an interesting conversation about this that awakened me to the reality of his passage into manhood. He spontaneously told me very recently, “I need dad, mom. I really need him. I really look up to him.”

I wasn’t trying to steal the spotlight from Edric but I couldn’t help it. So I hazarded to ask, “What about me? Do you also need me?”

“Of course, mom!” He hugged me reassuringly, but then he said with a conviction I couldn’t challenge, “But I need an example, and that is Dad.”

“Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of sons is their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6

In an older book called Raising A Modern Day Knight, author Robert Lewis shares this:

Something about a father’s physical and emotional presence gives life to a boy. Masculine life. Just being around dad—watching him shave, hearing him laugh, touching his flesh—invests a son with large doses of male energy. And this emotional capital cannot be gained anywhere other than in the presence of a father. The investment becomes even more substantial when a father imparts not only emotional capital, but moral and spiritual capital as well. In this nurturing environment, a son is weighted down with a masculine anchor. He lashes his soul to masculine moorings. But this also explains why sons drift in the absence of fathers. Instead of being weighted down, they become weightless. (pg.36)

According to Scripture, every son—from an early age—must be schooled in three critical areas…a will to obey (God’s will), a work to do (according to his own unique design), and a woman to love. Lacking these elements, a son will flounder in adulthood; he will wrestle with feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, and restlessness. But armed with them, a son becomes equipped to succeed in his relationship with God, in his community and church, and in his marriage. (pg.67)

When Elijah declared his need for an example in Edric, I was overjoyed. It made me immeasurably happy to know that their relationship is as it should be as father and son. Over the last couple of years, Edric has intentionally discipled Elijah, and biblically speaking, this is his role.

Father’s do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 NLT)

However, I also felt a twinge of jealousy…just a tiny smidgen of envy. Elijah is departing from childhood, headed towards the path of manhood. Before the age of six, I was the apple of his eye. He wanted me more than anyone else. He needed me. But today, he knows that becoming the man God wants him to be will require the presence of his father more than anyone else.

In the past couple of days, I have thought about Elijah a lot. I’ve removed myself from the craziness of duty, training, teaching and disciplining to recall parenting days of yesteryears. There’s a wishing that beckons a sorrow, not of pain or regret, but of the sort that any mother would know…it comes like a longing to cradle my grown child as the baby he once was…to press my nose against that incomparably soft cheek that smelled both pure and sweet, scented by mild soap and mother’s milk…to watch the glinted eyes of wonderment when everything was new to exploring hands and feet…to hear once again that first laugh, first word, first “I love you”, and be the recipient of that first kiss…

What I would give to be privy once more to those moments where details have been swallowed up by time! For now they persist in parts, in feelings evoked by photographs, in memories conjured by sights and smells, as treasures in a heart that longs to linger in a season of passing childhood.

Sigh. The emotions we go through as mothers! No wonder why it says, Mary (in the Bible) treasured and pondered…ponder, ponder. I suppose that’s what this is…a post dedicated to treasuring and pondering upon the last twelve months of my son’s boyhood. This is me coming to terms with how my love for him must grow and mature. While I know he loves me deeply still and I love him more than ever, I must also step aside, not step away, but talk less and listen more, instruct less and mentor more, squander less and treasure more, react less and ponder more, hover less and pray more, so that one day Elijah can become the man God has planned for him to be.

But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Edric and I were seated at the dinner table the other evening when I asked, “What was the highlight of your day?” to which he replied, “You are.”

Edric has ten million things going on in his life and I am sure five million of those things are probably more exciting than I am, and yet he often insists that being with me is far more delightful than anything else he does in the day. I can’t even begin to share how a statement like that makes me feel but special and treasured are adjectives that come to mind.

Edric has conditioned himself to think of me and the kids as the most important people in his life so he blurts out statements like that often, not just to me but to the kids as well.

He says to them, “Who are my favorite people in the whole world?!” And they jump on him, confidently acknowledging that they are the answer to his question. Like me, they know he cherishes them.

My dad used to say that when a man comes home, he meets with the most important people in his life. He must park everything else at the door and treat his home as sacred. His wife and his children deserve his undivided attention and the best version of himself.

I think this is a great ideal. But the reality is most husbands/fathers are busy, especially during weekdays when work preoccupies their time and uses up their energies. So how can they make their families feel prioritized even if they can’t give them hours and hours of their attention when they come home?

I would like to share with you a couple of strategies that Edric employs to do this. He learned these simple “tricks” and principles over the years and they have done wonders for his relationship with me and the kids.

1. The first five-minutes. When Edric steps into the house, no matter what kind of a day he has had, he announces his arrival so the kids can run to him, one by one. He takes them in his arms, especially our little ones. They will ask him to flip them around and he obliges. “Flip, flip!”

The point is he makes sure he hugs each one of our children and asks them how their day was. It takes just five minutes to communicate to them that this is his favorite part of the day…coming home. Afterwards they run off to their various activities, happy to know that daddy is in the house.

2. Answering my questions. When the kids disperse and Edric and I have alone time as he settles in, I usually ask, “How was your day? Any highlights?” He is sweet enough to give me a summary of his day even if talking is probably the last thing he wants to do. Like most men, he is exhausted by the time he walks through the door. This interaction doesn’t take more than fifteen minutes (usually) but it keeps me updated on what’s going on with him so I don’t feel like he’s a stranger.

3. Share many meals together, WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS.

Edric tries to have breakfast and dinner with us. Dinners are more consistent because he rushes off in the mornings.

We congregate around the table and Edric wants everyone sitting down, first to pray and thank the Lord for our food, and then to share the meal and conversation together. None of us can have a gadget on the table even if it is turned off!

The kids have all been trained by Edric to speak up and say, “No gadgets at the table!” if one is in sight. In fact, it doesn’t matter if it is an urgent message or call. This is sacred family time where interruptions are not welcome. Obviously there are exceptions but since the strictly implemented rule is no gadgets at the table, we don’t see our messages or hear the phones ringing anyway!

4. Ending the day with a daddy prayer. Edric prays for our children every night that he can. It’s his tradition with them. Before they go to bed, they will peek into our bedroom and say, “Will you come and pray for us, dad?” Or “Time to pray!”

I know other dads who read to their kids or tell their kids stories before bedtime. This is a great idea, too!

5. No kids sleeping in our room, except on weekends. Having our bedroom to ourselves during weekdays allows Edric and I to have our own space as a couple. We can end the evening without our children jumping all over us. We can have pillow talks and cuddle time without worrying about our decibel levels or maneuvering ourselves around little bodies. Plus, we sleep better! (Even Catalina sleeps in the girl’s room. She started doing so at 10 months.)

6. Untouchable evenings. As much as possible Edric won’t schedule activities or meetings on Monday and Tuesday nights. He reserves these nights for the kids and me. One evening is our date night and the other is our family devotion night. When he opens his calendar, Monday nights and Tuesday nights are blocked off. Even his personal assistant knows this.

7. Early morning exercise. We try to run every other day and do our ab workouts. Since Edric has to leave home pretty early we try and start by 6 AM. If we aren’t able to sleep at 9:30 or 10 PM the night before, getting up can be a problem. However we do our best to keep up the habit of early morning exercise because it is one of the ways we bond together and pray.

8. Picking up our random phone calls. Except for taping sessions or speaking engagements when he can’t be at his phone, Edric will pick up when we call him. If he misses a call, he phones us back. He wants to be accessible to us and we have the license to disturb him.

These eight simple routines and habits during the weekdays make it feel like Edric is very present in our lives even if his daily work schedule is hectic and taping for his shows keeps him very busy. He didn’t use to be as intentional about spending time with the kids and me when our children were younger. But as he learned about what it means to be a godly husband and father, he conditioned himself with the perspective that we are his priority. In fact he gave up certain activities like computer games and basketball leagues. These were not easy sacrifices and once in a while, he may indulge in a game or two, but his default mode is to prefer the company of his family. I am so grateful to the Lord that Edric’s heart is turned towards us. The kids and I need him in our lives, as an everyday husband and father, and not just a Saturday and Sunday one!